Sunday, October 7, 2012

We made it to 6 months... ALIVE!

So Oliver turned 6 months today and things couldn't be going any better! I just want to let new moms out there know how to relax and embrace this time. There is no competition on who is a better mom or what technique works best. I want to take this time to reflect on goals I had prior to Oliver being born to the reality 6 months later...

Goal # 1 - 100% NATURAL BIRTH (outside of hospital). Check! This was the biggest and most important goal for me. I did not want to end up giving birth in a hospital (I will post on this later...). Thanks to an amazing mid wife Janice Heller and doula Elena Penades we had an amazing team to coach us through at The Birth Center in Hallandale! It was a beautiful, though tough experience.

Goal #2 - NO BOTTLES only BREAST. Check! I did not want to use formula at all nor did I feel a reason to have to pump and give my child milk through a plastic bottle when he has access to the main natural source (the original bottles = breasts). I knew I could do it and I knew it was possible/feasible, however I got a lot of crazy looks from other moms when I expressed my desire not to use bottles. So much so I even got bottles as gifts at our baby shower. Well I didn't have to use them and I am not planning on using them ever.  To other mothers with this goal. Breastfeeding is not easy but it gets easier! We had some rough bumps in the beginning but with amazing support we made it through with flying colors. You can not do this alone seek support from day one if you want to succeed!

Goal # 3 - NOTHING BUT BREAST MILK until 6 MONTHS. Check! I don't have to give my opinion when the WHO (World Heath Organization) and AAP ( American Association of Pediatrics) recommend this to everyone. I refuse to give my baby junk food (formula or cereal). Formula and cereal are full or corn, soy and other garbage I wouldn't feed my dog yet alone my baby boy. I am not making this up check the ingredients and do some research on it yourself! Also there is a big myth out there that babies need water, this is 100% FALSE. Please do your research when you make BIG decisions regarding the health of your baby! DIET is one of the biggest decisions you can make. Start your child off right so they don't end up with future problems.

Goal # 4 - CLOTH DIAPERING. Semi-Check! I started out with the idea of wanting to exclusively cloth diaper and told almost everyone that this was my plan. Again with great support from all the moms out there (Yes this is sarcasm at its best!) I received tons of disposable diapers at my baby shower. I ended up using disposables for the first 3 months and hated every minute of it... so I made the switch to cloth at that point and we haven't looked back since. So as of now our goal is completed and will remain that way until we are potty trained. (You can read my blog post about cloth diapering for the details on our journey!)

Goal # 5 - GETTING SLEEP (all of US!) - Check + +! Since we decided on co-sleeping/bed sharing we have had full nights of sleep since month 2. Remember being a mom is not black and white, right or wrong it is a journey between you and your child and what works for you two! (You can read more about our sleeping arrangement on my bed sharing blog post!)

Goal # 6 - NO BATTERY OPERATED TOYS/TV/ELECTRONICS - Check! You do not have to entertain your child with all these electronic annoying beeping talking toys... Oliver is so happy for hours sitting on the grass and watching the trees. I am NOT LUCKY because he does this. I did not over stimulate him with all these things to the point where he constantly needs this over stimulation like most children out there! He plays with very basic toys mostly made out of natural cloths and wood. We do how ever have a few plastic toys as well, but not many. When the Olympics where on we did have the TV on all the time and he did glare at it a few times but other than that the TV (we only have one) has been OFF.

Goal # 7 - NO KIDDY SHOWS or MUSIC. Check! Well since there is no TV there are no shows... As far as music, Oliver enjoys all kinds of music from Classical, Rock, Disco, to anything and everything under the sun/moon except those annoying kid songs. He doesn't seem to complain when we dance together to ABBA. So if I am considered a bad momma for not playing Barney or any other kid songs then so be it... I do not see how those songs make children smarter or more creative than listening to "adult" music. He does get a Disney song in there every once in a while ;) .

Goal # 8 - ENJOY EVERY MOMENT! Check! Being a mother and attached to Oliver 24/7 is not a burden for me it is a privilege  I have waited so long (6 years) for him and having him always with me is pure joy! Being a mom is very difficult and you somewhat feel like you lose your identity in the process but it is so rewarding to have him in our lives. I have not been away from him for more than an hour and I wouldn't have it any other way. He is mine and he is my responsibility and I am honored to be his mom. I do not "need" to be away from him longer than that so I don't. I do not feel tied down or trapped... on the contrary I long for him when I am not with him. As I am typing this while watching him on the monitor sleeping... I would rather be snuggled against him. I do not neglect my husband either! We are on this path as parents together and find time for each other. The fact that we have been together nearly a decade before Oliver came has been a blessing because we know each other well and support one another through this new chapter of our lives.

Goal # 9 - ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION. NO Check (YET)! If you are unfamiliar with what EC is, check it out! It is a method used to potty train your baby from practically birth by reading your baby's signals. I don't know if we failed to read the signals or Oliver didn't have clear signals (or a little of both) but it has been quite difficult for us to routinely use EC. We haven't given up I am hoping as he starts to be a little more mobile and more on a schedule we might try again soon. I did manage to get a few pee pees in the potty but it is not easy to read this little guy. He is not very consistent with his elimination nor his signals.

      Finally I want to close with some advice to moms out there. PLEASE do not scoff at someone when they have a parenting goal different from yours. Also don't be negative towards something that quite didn't workout for yourself. If you did not meet your goals of parenting don't think others should be doomed along side with you. Remember we are all on the path of motherhood however each path is completely different and unique! We all don't have the same background, personalities, opinions and children. So do not be surprised if you are not on the same identical path as other moms when it comes down to the details. Raising a child is not a competition between mothers, there will be difference of opinions! Also new moms don't think the older generation has all the correct answers and the best advice, DO YOUR OWN research in any situation and then make your own decisions based on what you discover. Also trust your gut! Even professionals will never know your child like you know your child! And DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT put 100% trust in anyone even doctors if you do not feel comfortable with a decision pertaining to your child!!!

Handmade Toys <3

Momma and Baby at the Beach!

With Grandma!

Here comes the SUN!

Tongue Action!

First Solids... :)

Loves that Sand!

My Beautiful Boy! <3

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