NeeNooBug's Nest : The Beauty of Bed-Sharing!

While I was pregnant with Oliver my husband and I decided that the baby would NOT sleep in the bed with us. We purchase a nice co-sleeper/bassinet to put in our room instead, because we wanted him close but not as "in our bed" close...lol. The reason behind our decision at that time was purely on what was ingrained in us from others (without doing our own research) and also based on horror stories we heard about kids sleeping with their parents until really late in life...and we didn't want our baby to be in our bed until middle school or even elementary school for that matter.

So the story goes...I delivered Oliver at 10pm on a Saturday night and since we gave birth at a birth center we were sent home 4 hours later so around 2-3 am. My wonderful mid wife kept insisting that the baby should be sleeping in the bed with us...and surely enough when we got home he did go straight into the bed with us. It was the most natural thing for me to do being exhausted and all, and he hasn't left yet (now at almost 6 months). Both my husband and I saw the need and the convenience of having him with us in the bed.

Me and Oliver during his first week at home!

People's first reaction to bed sharing is... OMG that is so dangerous (as if we plan on killing our child or if we came from another planet...). Well in case you didn't know bed sharing is a very very very old practice used around the world. It is extremely common in Europe and other parts of the world, and is popular in the US as well but kept a secret. My mother bed shared with my brother and I and I am grateful for it today.

Obviously the first month sleeping with Oliver in our bed was a readjustment phase. Since he is our first we were learning from scratch. I tried using the Snuggle Nest and that didn't last too long.. Then I found myself up with the breast feeding pillow every 2 hours feeding him and not getting much consistent sleep myself. Then I heard my friend Zura say that she feeds her little one on her side laying down and just lifts her shirt up... and it couldn't have made more sense in my head. So I tried it! I laid the baby by my side like always and when it was time to eat I just exposed my breast for him and voila... no crying in transition and not having to get up physically... it was perfect. Almost too good to be true! So by almost 2 months old Oliver was sleeping through the night by my standards. My standards are not very high compared to most...lol

Happy Mornings, every morning!

So here is how our beautiful nights play out... I bathe Oliver around 9 then after the bath I massage him. Around 10 I lay down in the bed to nurse him. After he is passed out I leave him there so I can have some ME time. Then 2-4 hours later he makes a little cry for me to come back and I nurse him again. At this point I either stay for the night with him or get back up to finish what I was doing. Then through the night since he is right next to me I can feel when he starts to move around and I nurse him (this is usually done subconsciousness nowadays). I could not even tell you how many times he nurses through the night because honestly I do not know...because I am usually asleep. Most of the time he helps himself to an all you can eat buffet. Then he usually wakes up any where from 8-10 in the mornings (use to be around 11-12 from months 2-4). When he wakes up he does so with a smile and now begins to talk softly (blabbering). So he goes down peacefully and wakes up peacefully. He does not cry at all through the night, not a sound out of his mouth. This is great for my husband because he get s a full nights sleep every night and so do I for that matter. I have not felt tired nor sleep deprived after this arrangement fell into place.

I was not afraid as most people are. I have never had a fear of rolling over my baby EVER. The thought never even passed through my mind. He was in my belly for 9 months and I never rolled on him then why would things change from one day to the next just because he was on the outside now??? We have plenty of pillows, a sheet and a blanket in the bed and I never had a fear of him suffocating because he was right next to me the whole time. It is very natural to sleep with your baby! Actually I caught a fever I probably wouldn't of have because of him next to me. I can also feel his breathing and know everything is okay.

However, there are some negative aspects of bed sharing (which don't bother me at all). Obviously you will get the occasional pee puddle in your bed, no biggy. Haven't have a poop stain yet! In the beginning I had puddles of breast milk everywhere that get crusty, so you have to change the sheets more frequently, but that doesn't happen anymore. You obviously have less space in bed, but I am cool with that. As far as intimacy... I love what another blogger wrote on the matter "If the bed is the only place that you do it, you have a really boring life.. get creative".

If you are still not convinced about bed sharing think about this for a moment. We love our husbands so much and love having them in the bed for our security and warmth. If you ever had to experience your husband being away for even one night, how did that make you feel? For me it is lonely, sad, and afraid. Now imagine your baby, new to this world... they lived inside of you for 9 months. What kind of a transition is it for that baby not to hear your heart beat and breath or feel your warmth when you separate them from you cold turkey. The thought of that alone is so sad to me. This poor baby has instincts to be close to momma and momma puts them in a cold bed to be by themselves...

So how long will Oliver be in our bed... who knows! These types of changes should take place naturally and not forced in my opinion just like weaning a child off the breast. Also each child is different! I heard of children who do not want to be in their parents bed from a few months old... and others stay longer than welcomed...lol