Less is MORE: The Baby Registry Illusion

Being a first time mom is quite overwhelming. You have no idea what to expect from labor & delivery to what your child will need or be like... It is a roller coaster to say the least.

If I could go back and change one thing it would be to buy so much less!

After the baby shower my husband and I went on our baby shopping spree like most (first-time) parents do. Overwhelmed by the plethora of things there are (mostly gimmicks) we quickly started buying everything we "thought" we would need...and we bought a lot of stuff. I have never dropped the amounts of money in stores like we did that day... $300 here and $500 there and we didn't even buy baby furniture like cribs, changing tables, and such. It is so crazy when you come to think about how much people really do spend on a baby. 

After Oliver was born day after day, week after week, moth after month... I started to notice that most ( 99%) of the things I bought I NEVER used! The worst part you can never get a full refund for all you spend...bummer. I was able to return stuff for store credit, however I wanted/needed stuff not found in those stores...

So if I was to go back in time and re due my baby registry...it would look like this: 

• K'tan Wrap (my favorite wrap for newborns up to 15 lbs.)  www.babyktan.com
• A Girasol Wrap (for heavier baby) http://shop.paxbaby.com/girasol
• Ergobaby Carrier (http://store.ergobaby.com/) or Manduca Carrier (www.manduca-baby-carrier.eu) (for lond trips with heavy baby)
• Cloth Diapers (at least 25) www.alvababy.com
• Organic Bath Products 
• NoseFrida Snotsucker www.fridababy.com/
• Ikea High Chair http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/30069724/
• Bouncer http://www.babybjorn.com/products/bouncers/babysitter-balance/babysitter-balance
• Baltic Amber Teething Necklace http://hazelaid.com/collections/childrens-baltic-amber
• Car Seat - http://www.combiusa.com/Products/Car-Seats/Zeus-360/48
• Wooden Teethers and Toys
• Clothing nothing fancy
• A Cleaning Lady
• A Personal Chef

Oliver's First Year of Life

My little 7 pound and 2 ounce boy is one year old today...my how time flies literally. I still remember my labor and delivery like yesterday. So here is my letter to my one year old son on our magical journey through our first year as a 3 person family...

Oliver, My Dearest Treasured Gift From God,

 The day you came into my life was a magical one, I had no idea what I was in for, however I loved you before I even met you my son. You were the most precious living creature I had ever laid eyes on even though you came out purple (that freaked out your dad a little). I was in awe of you from the moment I looked into your eyes. The first night was surreal...after being in labor all day and then coming home in the middle of the night we were all exhausted. I couldn't believe I was a mother and you were really here with us. We didn't plan on you sleeping in the bed with us...but it was the most natural thing for me to do and so I did what felt right, and you sir were in our bed snuggled up with mommy from day one. I also had a bumpy road trying to breastfeed you...you did not want to latch lazy boy. You came out of the womb so calm and chill. So mommy had to get lots of support in order to get you on your way to become a super sucker :) . I remember the first month all you did was nurse. I felt like such a useless couch potato at times...since all I was doing was sitting/laying with you and nursing you. I had to remind my self constantly that I am sustaining life with my body...and that in itself is a SUPER POWER. I remember that the first 3 months you wanted to be held always. I wore you in a wrap most of the time just like I do now at a year. I had a terrible fear that I would never be able to put you down...that I would have to hold you forever, but that changed after 3 months.  You slowly were gaining your independence.  I also started to go back to Crossfit and you came with us and loved it there. You slept through all the noise and loved all the attention from the coaches and athletes. You were the center of attention everywhere.We also started to exclusively cloth diaper you on your 3 month birthday as well, which was my goal from the beginning since your mamma is kind of a hippie go-green kind of gal. I just remember that I could stare at you for hours and your little extremities and features always took my breath away. I don't know how you managed but every day you seemed to be getting cuter and cuter. Your smiles melted my heart and every little sound you made turned me into mush...by the way most of the sounds you made sounded like dinosaur sounds lol, You had many experiences with us. I took you out wrapped up in a baby wrap from the start.

After 3 months you didn't like driving in the car, so I couldn't take you many places unless someone drove with us. It was the only thing that you did that drove me a little crazy...You didn't like the stroller either. There were many times I had to carry you back on our walks. Your personality started to really shine at around 4 months...you became so much more interactive with us. You started to play with toys and recognize us so much more. At five months you loved sitting in the bouncy chair and started to sit very well by yourself. I started spending more time with you outdoors as well. You loved sitting outside in the fresh air looking at the trees, birds and our dog Zippo at the time. At six months you loved being in the jumping chair we hung from the door frame...you would bounce for quite a while there. We also started to introduce solids to you at this point and bought you your first high chair from Ikea. We started you out with egg yolks, avocado and bananas...and slowly tried different fruits and veggies with you. You even were chewing on kale. You had your first Halloween, we dressed you up as a baby dragon at the birth center and were seduced by a cute little bumble bee named Isabella. At the end of your sixth month your bottom two teeth emerged. Thanks to the amber necklace you have on 24/7 momma didn't know until I decided to rub your gums and I felt the first one. We also started to put you in the nursery during church services at Calvary Chapel Hollywood so that daddy and I could pay more attention and you could play with the other babies. You did well even though daddy and I were a nervous wreck leaving you. Month seven was lively, you were eating more and growing so quickly. You had your first Thanksgiving and were munching on a whole turkey leg followed by a bowl full of whipped cream thanks to babicka. We also found out that you LOVE LOVE LOVE oranges. I took you to vote for the 2012 presidential election, you stood in line with me and then one of the poll workers watched you while I filled out my ballot ( I did not vote for Obama, just saying in case you were curious). After voting we went to eat sushi and of course you couldn't eat sushi at 7 months...so I gave you some veggies to play with and a piece of orange on my plate as decoration ..and that was it...your addiction began. Still today you love your oranges.

Month eighth was a biggy, you became mobile. You started to crawl on my birthday and boy were you happy to be on the move. You celebrated your first Christmas, and we bought you some WOD Toys. These were the only plastic toys I approved of...lol  I only wanted natural toys for you. Most of your toys were wood. The idea was for you to use your imagination and become a thinker with out all the excess stimuli from the electronic toys. Your daddy and I took you to take pictures with Santa at Bass Pro Shops...you were a good boy and started exploring Santa's beard. We also got a new member of our family, Toby a Louisiana Catahoula Leopard Dog puppy. At this point you were standing pretty well with the assistance of furniture and other large stable objects. You  also had your two top teeth come through at this point. Month nine you became quite the independent explorer...and mess maker. You began ripping and eating paper, chewing on books and cardboard, and your meals were now much messier. I started to give you many different food using baby led weaning. Good thing we had dogs to clean up your scraps from the floor. Unfortunately we lost one... We had to put Zippo down due to cancer even thought you loved him so much. Month ten was great. You started to do your morning poops and pees in the potty. You love sitting on the potty as long as I entertain you with all the wonders of the bathroom (hair rollers, brushes, bottles...). You also started climbing stairs like crazy at the park...totally on your own. The bottom right incisor came through too, then the two top ones followed. Month eleven was crazy. You started to get into everything...all the cabinets, draws...everything. Keeping me busy all day long. Took you to your first petting zoo, you go crazy for animals of all shorts. The last incisor on the bottom popped threw. You are standing strong and ready to walk soon. You walk with a walker and can stand by yourself. You have a great squat from a Crossfit perspective lol. You are eating everything in sight including dirt and anything else you can get your hands on.  I have been letting you get dirty and muddy a lot lately...keeping you naked more too so I don't have to do so much laundry. You are addicted to blueberries, egg yolks and oranges at this point in time, but you eat almost everything with a preference for meats. I can't get you to eat the egg whites...tried omelet style, scramble and plain... and you will not touch it. You are so funny and your personality is great. You have a little bit of a temper when things don't go your way. You point everywhere and say "deh" at everything. You are so smart and can identify a lot of things already. We never gave you a bottle which was my goal and I am so happy with the bond we have on our journey in breastfeeding. You are quite fond of my boobies and as embarrassing as this might be when you get older, you love playing with my nipples (as do most breastfed babies, so it is not a weird thing, it is actually instinctual). You say mama but I think you are referring to my boobs. If you even see them in sight you jump on them like a zombie on fresh flesh. You sleep well and still with us in the bed. You love the out doors, you want to be out all the time. You are completely covered in bug bites and that doesn't stop you. You make every morning worth waking up to. You are the joy of my life and even the hardest craziest day with you is worth it because you are in my life. You have many friends and life is good.

I pray for many years that I can spend with you and watch you grow. I love you so very much and want you to know that what ever I do as a mom I am doing to the best of my ability, knowledge and an abundance of love and sacrifice. No parent is perfect and by no means am I...but I want you to know that I am trying my very best to be the mother you deserve. I apologize for not understanding your every need. You are quite mischievous at times and require some discipline, just know it is for your own good so you don't hurt yourself or others.


Loving you Unconditionally Now and Forever, Your Maminka

When will I stop Breastfeeding Oliver?

It is funny how the first question out of most people's mouth when they know you are breastfeeding is " How long do you plan on doing that?"... My sarcastic side wants to shout out "FOREVER" or " Until he goes to College", none the less it is an annoying and ignorant question to ask a breastfeeding mom...

     I want to begin by giving a little background on my decision of breastfeeding and the bumpy road we had in the beginning...

      Well first off I understand my role as a woman as in that I have parts that make me able to carry and feed a baby, so therefore naturally and logically breastfeeding was what made sense to me. God created me to, so therefore I will. My mother breastfed me. I gave birth naturally with a mid-wife and it was clearly told to me that breast is best for my baby. Breast milk can not be manufactured and sold because it is a complex substance with living organisms. It contains everything your baby needs and changes with the needs of your baby. Reading study after study there was absolutely no doubt that I would exclusively breastfeed my baby. The ingredients in formulas, even organic ones disgusted me. So my choice was clear! The next question was how long would I breastfeed?

Ok so my mom breastfed me for 4-6 months...details and facts on this matter are a bit vague. So I figured before Oliver came that I too would breastfeed for around 6 months... and then I took pre-natal courses at the birth center with a lactation consultant and I realized it was better to breastfeed for longer so I bumped up my goal to one year being sufficient enough...

Well once Oliver was born things were tough...he didn't want to latch on, he was a lazy latcher and my nipples were a little short on top of that... so this was our first bump in the road! If it was not from the amazing support I received postpartum from the midwives I probably would have quit on the spot... My doula/lactation consultant from the birth center was at my house the following day and brought me a nipple shield. If you were like me and had no idea what a nipple shield was... it is a device that looks like a condom for your nipple. It extends further out than your natural nipple to give the baby more substance to latch on to. You use it until their suction is strong enough to nurse without it. With the shield we were good to go and I used that for about 2 months. Pain is also a deterrent. Yes there is pain! However it is usually from poor latching so if you fix the latch the pain goes away and stays away... Also in the beginning the baby is on your boobs pretty much 24/7 and this is what I believe the number one reason most women don't want to breastfeed... they want a break or some freedom. Well I have accepted and embraced my role as a mommy and I can honestly say that I don't want or need a break! I love my little Oliver. You have to learn to be very selfless in the beginning. I had issues with feeling non productive because I was sitting all day with a baby on me watching TV and browsing the WEB. I had to constantly remind myself that I am sustaining a live baby and that is VERY productive!

Well since I had lots of time in the beginning stages of breastfeeding I joined a couple groups on Facebook that offered me tremendous support. Two of the most helpful  groups were Respect the Breast and The Badass Breastfeeder.  I think I read every single post while breastfeeding and learned so much from other breastfeeding mothers. What I learned most was that breastfeeding was not only about nutrition but a bond between mother and baby...

This is when I decided that I will not stop breastfeeding at one...so when? That will be when Oliver and I are ready, could be one, two, three or more years... So this is where the ignorance of others shows up when I hear, "When they can ask for it, they are too old for it!".  Well Oliver has been asking for it since day one (vocally)! The WHO (World Health Organization) recommends that you breastfeed exclusively (NOTHING ELSE) for the first 6 months and then continue to breastfeed until at least 2 years. The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends that babies be exclusively breastfed for about the first 6 months of life. This means your baby needs no additional foods (except Vitamin D) or fluids unless medically indicated. Babies should continue to breastfeed for a year and for as long as is mutually desired by the mother and baby. Breastfeeding should be supported by your physician for as long as it is the right choice for you and your baby. (http://www2.aap.org/breastfeeding/faqsbreastfeeding.html)

The other thing people don't realize is the bond that a mother has with her breastfeeding baby. This bond is one that you can not understand unless you are in it... I didn't understand it until now. You can not just cut it off cold turkey at a magic number of months or years. It is like snuggling with your child... you don't give an age limit to that, they just grow out of it. Cutting breastfeeding cold turkey is just COLD and heartless, it does have an affect on them emotionally. It is call weaning a child for a reason... and weaning is what I plan on doing. Obviously as Oliver begins to eat more solid food he will need less breastmilk to the point where it will just be a comfort session. Even though the nutrition benefits will ALWAYS be beneficial for him and his immunity.

Another thing to consider is that the weaning age varies from country to country where you have some cultures that wean around 7 years. If that seems odd to you again check your ignorance level on the topic. Don't judge mothers negatively, when they are doing the BEST for their children. Instead encourage mothers that choose to breastfeed! They are sacrificing not only their bodies but their lifestyle too.

Here are a few links that will help you understand why I am choosing to breastfeed Oliver full term (2-4 years):

- Kelly Mom on Breastfeeding Toddlers

- La Leche League on Breastfeeding Toddlers

- Myths about Breastfeeding a Toddler

- 10 Reasons to Breastfeed a Toddler

- How to Handle the Criticism of Breastfeeding a Toddler

-  6 Month Commitment/ The Virgin Gut

The Beauty of Bed-Sharing!

   While I was pregnant with Oliver my husband and I decided that the baby would NOT sleep in the bed with us. We purchase a nice co-sleeper/bassinet to put in our room instead, because we wanted him close but not as "in our bed" close...lol.  The reason behind our decision at that time was purely on what was ingrained in us from others (without doing our own research) and also based on horror stories we heard about kids sleeping with their parents until really late in life...and we didn't want our baby to be in our bed until middle school or even elementary school for that matter.

    So the story goes...I delivered Oliver at 10pm on a Saturday night and since we gave birth at a birth center we were sent home 4 hours later so around 2-3 am. My wonderful mid wife kept insisting that the baby should be sleeping in the bed with us...and surely enough when we got home he did go straight into the bed with us. It was the most natural thing for me to do being exhausted and all, and he hasn't left yet (now at almost 6 months). Both my husband and I saw the need and the convenience of having him with us in the bed.

Me and Oliver during his first week at home!

   People's first reaction to bed sharing is... OMG that is so dangerous (as if we plan on killing our child or if we came from another planet...). Well in case you didn't know bed sharing is a very very very old practice used around the world. It is extremely common in Europe and other parts of the world, and is popular in the US as well but kept a secret. My mother bed shared with my brother and I and I am grateful for it today.

Obviously the first month sleeping with Oliver in our bed was a readjustment phase. Since he is our first we were learning from scratch. I tried using the Snuggle Nest and that didn't last too long.. Then I found myself up with the breast feeding pillow every 2 hours feeding him and not getting much consistent sleep myself. Then I heard my friend Zura say that she feeds her little one on her side laying down and just lifts her shirt up... and it couldn't have made more sense in my head. So I tried it! I laid the baby by my side like always and when it was time to eat I just exposed my breast for him and voila... no crying in transition and not having to get up physically... it was perfect. Almost too good to be true! So by almost 2 months old Oliver was sleeping through the night by my standards. My standards are not very high compared to most...lol

Happy Mornings, every morning!

So here is how our beautiful nights play out... I bathe Oliver around 9 then after the bath I massage him. Around 10 I lay down in the bed to nurse him. After he is passed out I leave him there so I can have some ME time. Then 2-4 hours later he makes a little cry for me to come back and I nurse him again. At this point I either stay for the night with him or get back up to finish what I was doing. Then through the night since he is right next to me I can feel when he starts to move around and I nurse him (this is usually done subconsciousness nowadays).  I could not even tell you how many times he nurses through the night because honestly I do not know...because I am usually asleep. Most of the time he helps himself to an all you can eat buffet. Then he usually wakes up any where from 8-10 in the mornings (use to be around 11-12 from months 2-4). When he wakes up he does so with a smile and now begins to talk softly (blabbering). So he goes down peacefully and wakes up peacefully. He does not cry at all through the night, not a sound out of his mouth. This is great for my husband because he get s a full nights sleep every night and so do I for that matter. I have not felt tired nor sleep deprived after this arrangement fell into place.

   I was not afraid as most people are. I have never had a fear of rolling over my baby EVER. The thought never even passed through my mind. He was in my belly for 9 months and I never rolled on him then why would things change from one day to the next just because he was on the outside now??? We have plenty of pillows, a sheet and a blanket in the bed and I never had a fear of him suffocating because he was right next to me the whole time. It is very natural to sleep with your baby! Actually I caught a fever I probably wouldn't  of have because of him next to me. I can also feel his breathing and know everything is okay.

  However, there are some negative aspects of bed sharing (which don't bother me at all). Obviously you will get the occasional pee puddle in your bed, no biggy. Haven't have a poop stain yet! In the beginning I had puddles of breast milk everywhere that get crusty, so you have to change the sheets more frequently, but that doesn't happen anymore. You obviously have less space in bed, but I am cool with that. As far as intimacy... I love what another blogger wrote on the matter "If the bed is the only place that you do it, you have a really boring life.. get creative".

  If you are still not convinced about bed sharing think about this for a moment. We love our husbands so much and love having them in the bed for our security and warmth. If you ever had to experience your husband being away for even one night, how did that make you feel? For me it is lonely, sad, and afraid.  Now imagine your baby, new to this world... they lived inside of you for 9 months. What kind of a transition is it for that baby not to hear your heart beat and breath or feel your warmth when you separate them from you cold turkey. The thought of that alone is so sad to me. This poor baby has instincts to be close to momma and momma puts them in a cold bed to be by themselves...

   So how long will Oliver be in our bed... who knows! These types of changes should take place naturally and not forced in my opinion just like weaning a child off the breast. Also each child is different! I heard of children who do not want to be in their parents bed from a few months old... and others stay longer than welcomed...lol

Daddy and Oliver first week at home!

Passed Out!

Sleeping Beauty!

Stretching....so cute!

Passed out before I could dress him!

This is a hard life...

Happy mornings!

Good Morning Sexy !

We have been napping on sheep skin!

Bonding with Daddy!

Bonding with Momma, and enjoying breakfast in bed!

Peaceful transitions! No one wakes up to feed.

There are many awesome web resources on the matter, here are the links to some on my favorites.
- http://safebedsharing.org/safetyguidelines.html
- http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/01/09/cosleeping-benefits/
- http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/scientific-benefits-co-sleeping
- http://www.askdrsears.com/news/latest-news/dr-sears-addresses-recent-co-sleeping-concerns
- http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support/articles/artbenefitscosleep.php
- http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/five-benefits-cosleeping/
- http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/night-waking-will-i-ever-get-a-good-nights-sleep-again

Slingin' in the Rain!

Well actually we were wrapping in the rain but slinging was a better fit for the title :).
   
    Just want to add some more benefits of wearing your baby. Today has been a non stop rainy and dark day so it was a stay indoors type of day. Baby Oliver was getting cranky, don't know if it is because of teething, maybe has daddy's cold, or was just bored to death... so I decided to take him out doors. Since the rain wasn't very strong I wrapped him up, took an umbrella, and around the blocks we went. He was so peaceful and happy to be outdoors regardless of the rain. I couldn't have done this with a stroller... it is just more natural for me to wear him, and he loves it too.  Also the wrap turned my pajama/night gown into a dress, hid the fact I wasn't wearing a bra and also protected the baby from mosquitoes (notice I tucked his feet into the wrap). Also, if  wrapped correctly with good wrap, it is extremely comfortable to wear your baby.

I am using a homemade cotton gauze wrap which is ideal for
Florida because it is so HOT. There are many options out
 there for materials for wraps... not all are created equal! 

That's our new $2.99 Ikea Umbrella.

 
Another awesome benefit of baby wearing is that you can breastfeed your baby in the wrap... this is great on many occasions. Here are some pictures of how this is done. Obviously baby has to be nice and high on your chest and have easy access to his milk supply. 

Oliver got hungry from the walk!

He is getting sleepy....

He is OUT! Within minutes!

Feeding with no hands. I was able to take these pictures myself!

When in public you can raise the wrap up to cover the back of baby's
head for more privacy or even wear a jacket  as well. 

It has been such a crappy day and my hubby is feeling crappy so I will leave you with some cute baby pictures to make it better!

Playing soccer indoors with my 1st soccer ball
given to me by my uncle Carlos! 

Getting stronger... preparing to crawl!

My rainy day friends!

TOES

Daddy's coughing and sneezing are funny to me!